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Ordering Pizza During the Pandemic

Home Alone Pizza Delivery
20th Century Fox


Ordering Pizza During the Pandemic

Keep the change ya filthy animal.

Gangster ‘Johnny’: [Hears a knock at door] Who is it?

Deliveryman: It’s me, Papa John’s. I got the stuff.

Gangster ‘Johnny’: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here.

Deliveryman: All right, Johnny, but what about my money?

Gangster ‘Johnny’: What money?

Deliveryman: Papa said you had some dough for me.

Gangster ‘Johnny’: That a fact? How much do I owe ya?

Deliveryman: Papa said $7.99.

Gangster ‘Johnny’: [Smirks] Too bad Papa ain’t in charge no more.

Deliveryman: What do ya mean?

Gangster ‘Johnny’: He’s out back, yelling at squirrels. He’ll call you when he’s finished.

Gangster ‘Johnny’: Hey, I tell ya what I’m gonna give *you*, deliveryman.

[Pulls out machine gun]

Gangster ‘Johnny’: I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!

Deliveryman: All right, Johnny, I’m sorry. I’m goin’!

Gangster ‘Johnny’: 1 … 2 … 10!

[Starts unloading bullets into the Deliveryman while laughing maniacally]

Gangster ‘Johnny’: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

~ Fin ~

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