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What Can a Hollywood Publicist Do to Relax?

publicist relax
Sony Pictures Releasing

Life can be pretty stressful for Hollywood publicists. Every day, more information on their clients seems to fall out of Twitter, and publicists have the stressful job of dropping them or managing their crises. It can be tough. With so many horrible things being exposed and some things that are just plain weird, a publicist may want to relax a little bit. It’s so important to take care of yourself. 

For instance, a great tactic for stress reduction can be meditation. Let’s try a brief meditation right now to help you relax instantly. First, sit down in a comfortable position. Then, clear your mind, take a long deep breath. If you find your thoughts wandering, gently bring them back. Direct your mind to the ground below. Feel the Earth beneath you. Feel your energy run from your head all the way into the ground.

No, ignore that. Don’t think about that. Do not think about Ellie Kemper right now. You are here to relax. I guess maybe she should apologize, though? Hmm, I wonder if you can have her write something up on her Notes app. Wait, no, forget about it. You are here to meditate. Clear your mind. You can tell her to both apologize while taking no real responsibility later. Breathe in for seven seconds, hold for seven seconds, breathe out for seven seconds.

NO! Don’t pay attention to it. But good, she hit all the talking points. But don’t think about it. Clear your mind. Go ahead and let those wandering thoughts fade away. 

So, maybe she shouldn’t have apologized? No, of course she should. But she was a teen? STOP! This is bad meditation. Clear your mind. Don’t think about how Twitter has crowned her the “KKK Queen,” clear your mind. Take a long deep breath in—

Okay, this one is a joke, right? Ignore all the comments by people who don’t think it is. I mean, come on, she was so fun in “The Office,” right? 

This meditation was a complete failure. Being a Hollywood publicist these days is too stressful, and relaxing can feel like an impossible task. 

But if you need a break, maybe try to turning off Twitter notifications and trying not to think about what on Earth Disney is going to do about “Death on the Nile.”